Triggers are a hot topic these days. Maybe you have become aware you experience unpleasant emotions when you’re exposed to certain behaviors, topics, or words. You might notice you…
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Conscious communication might be the single most important skill we can develop to improve our relationships. However, most of us struggle to communicate in a way that helps…
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I’ve been a therapist for over 30 years, and there’s one topic I hear about far more than any other — relationships are challenging! It reminds me of…
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A lot of us don’t acknowledge that we have a relationship with ourselves. I think of this as the invisible relationship, because who’s relating to who? We tend…
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Many of us want to be more spiritual, but we might not know where to start on our spiritual journey. I find it helps to start with the basics. I like…
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Most spiritual traditions name love as the highest spiritual value. This kind of love is a practice. It is a practice of acceptance, compassion, and wanting the best for…
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We hear about mindfulness a lot, but with so many things competing for our attention, we struggle to maintain it. The fact is that few of us practice it…
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As the New Year approaches, you might want to ask yourself the question, “Am I growing through my life or am I just going through my life?” There’s a big difference! We symbolically associate…
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Every day we are faced with countless choices. Minute by minute we make decisions, some big some small. Many decisions seem insignificant, like what to wear, what to have for breakfast, or what time to go to bed. We may not recognize those little things as decisions. But they are decisions, nonetheless.
In order to cope with the sheer volume of decisions we face daily, we go on autopilot. This autopilot is neither “good” nor “bad”. The decisions we make while on autopilot can take us closer to or further away from the kind of life we want to live.
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When we have a decision to make, we tend to focus on making the “right” decision.
We might spend a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of each choice. Our emotions are in turmoil as we think over and over, “what if I make the wrong choice?”
After all, you don’t want to make the “wrong” choice! What if you marry the “wrong” person or choose the “wrong” career? What if you choose to live in the “wrong” place or buy the “wrong” house?
Notice that I’m using quotation marks around the words “right” and “wrong” here.
That’s because these words are only labels about our opinion about the outcome of the decision.
So what could we do instead?